Snap, Jesus!

With my GMail account I rarely see spam anymore. It is immediately filed away and automatically deleted thirty days later. I miss the unintentional comedy of it. Like I miss getting that Playboy junk mail that I used to in college.

But after taking the LSAT and applying to law schools, I get lots of what could be considered spam yet bypasses my filters because it is sent through the LSDAS. Email is fun again.

Take Regent Law School. They sent an email asking me to consider them. Let's!

Regent tries to rub my erogenous zone with a falafel [playing Bill O'Reilly to my Andrea Mackris] by telling me theirs is a Christian school. Are they Mormon? Because Mormons are hot. Short sleeve shirts with ties are hott. And little black name tags are hottt. No, Regent is evangelical. With "a committment to biblical integration in the law school classroom." I see big stone tablets with words like "thou" and "shalt" on them.

I thought there was a certain box I checked on my LSDAS biographical profile that would scare off these people. Maybe they want to redeem my soul through big hair and terrible music.

Regent's mission statement: To "raise-up Christian leaders." That phrase sort of caught my attention. Like a Gnostic Gospel, I think it is saying more that it appears. "Raised-up" like Christ was "raised" to heaven? Or "raised-up" like Jesus was "raised" upon the cross? I would either be saved or crucified at Regent seems to be the implication.

I am reading too much into it? That is what these people do: they read too much into everything. "9/11 happened because of Mary Cheney and the 9th Circuit Court!" and so forth.

Just for fun-sies, what kind of bar passage rate does a school get through the "integration of biblical principles?" Forty-four percent. Snap, Jesus! What, weren't there enough questions about the Tribulation? Or does the Virginia Bar ask too many on evolution and the age of the earth?

I'm not anti-religion. But I am anti-religious. I may or may not have deeply held religious beliefs, but if I do, I am certainly not going to prostitute them, that is, expose them to strange people who get off on such things. To me at least, religious beliefs are so fragile that even to mention specific ones out loud would be enough to make them disappear. To hawk them in Sam's Club-sized chruches is obscenity bordering on pornography.

"We deal in wholesale and pass the salvation on to you!"

Nadir '04!

I'm not a rally person, really I am not. But I am going to one. Typically affiliations embarrass me, but for a Kerry rally in downtown Detroit on the day before the election, with Stevie Wonder, I will make an exception. Must make exceptions! Being "resolute" and "never wavering" can be bad for national security.

Not to mention boring.

It was Drew's idea. A good egg, that Drew! He got the tickets and hooked it up. But no loyalty oath to be signed, unlike a Bush rally. I like the vintage 1950s charm of a loyalty oath.

This is progress for Drew, though. He supported Nader last go around and has since become a Nader Hater like me. In fact I was with Drew when I first started to hate on Nader's game. That was four years ago when we went to a Nader-Michael Moore joint appearance. Nader's "people" really put me off my chowder. "Passionately confused" I described them at the time. I mean we all love the romance of a big red socialist banner, like the one the kids hoisted outside the Aud. But a state university in 2000 (coming off the longest period of peace and prosperity in the 20th century) was not the Sorbonne in 1968. The Nader-niks gave me the same feeling I had at a Belle & Sebastian concert (curiously enough, also with Drew): I like the band, but the greasy emo kids annoyed me.

"It's a band! Not a wardrobe!" I wanted to say...